Motherhood at School of Hope

Motherhood is said to be one of the leading reasons why young girls drop out of high school; not only do they face the tremendous challenges which high school brings, they also need to take on the overwhelming responsibilities that come with raising a child. This is Kulthoom and her story. In Grade 10, at the age of 17, Kulthoom had fallen pregnant in March but only found out 3 months into her pregnancy. Her father didn’t take the news very well, but her mother stepped in and ensured it was only a mistake and no one was at fault. She and her family tried making contact with the father of her child, but his mother refused to believe the child was her sons. A short while after finding out she was pregnant she informed her schools’ principal of her circumstances and left the school and from then she spent her time at home until the birth of her son, Ali. His entrance into the world was filled with complications and great stress. He had stopped breathing and the staff on duty took too long to resuscitate him, resulting in her son spending 2 weeks in the ICU. Kulthoom felt helpless but was reassured by her mother who works in the same hospital that everything would be fine and that they would be discharged as soon as Ali was strong enough. She went home to a house filled with support, her mother, grandmother as well as her aunt that had just given birth two months before would be there to assist Kulthoom in any way. Just being at home with her son, being able to be with him at all times and know that he is alive and well meant the world to Kulthoom and brought her such joy. Kulthoom came across School of Hope and felt that this was the opportunity she needed for a better future for herself and for her son, she needed to complete her schooling career. She only wants the best for Ali* and all she hopes for is that he doesn’t wind up the same path she had in life. Many admire her for her determination in going straight back to school but others, particularly the child’s paternal family, who fail to take responsibility and acknowledge that the child share any relation to them feel that she is an unfit and incapable mother that only thinks of herself because she isn’t home looking after her son. Legal action has taken place which has emotionally affected Kulthoom, but she won’t show signs of defeat, she is determined to do what is best for both her and her child’s future to the best of her ability, even taking the time on weekends working to help contribute to the baby essentials. Not only has Ali* brought so much joy into her life, he has been the reason her parents have made peace with one another and made an effort to be in their grandchild’s life, her family has been a tremendous support through this time. For most teenage mothers, coming back into education and negotiating motherhood is a daily struggle. Ensuring each and every morning that both you and your child have everything needed for the day, getting home late, still having to study and finding time to be with your child and catch up on school work is exhausting. As well as the fact that your friends are free to do as they please and do things you are no longer able to do because of the responsibilities that await you. Family support through your schooling career is crucial, however, it is especially important for these young mothers to have someone at school with whom they can confide in and relate to. School of Hope created a space in which young mothers come together, speak openly and freely in regards to their experiences, difficulties and achievements without judgement and there is so much beauty in this shared experience. For the past 2 years, former international volunteer Zoe Lee was a pillar of strength for Miché, she could talk to her about absolutely anything, especially where Ke-shay was concerned. For Kulthoom, Principal Ade Oyewo, as well as a fellow classmate she has become close with, have been her pillars of strength, reassuring her that she is a great mother and all that she does is what is best for her own as well as Ali’s* future. We are so proud of this young woman who didn’t lose hope and has continued to better herself all in the hopes of providing a future for herself and her child.